first shift

I felt pretty frazzled during my coffee order this morning. I never realized how unsure of myself I actually am, or can be. I didn't know where to lock my bike earlier, I didn't hear what the barista said to me, I'm sitting here arguing with myself about if I'm actually unsure of myself or if it's justified because I'm new to this city, I did end up being decisive about locking my bike to the sign post...

Well someone—holding a motorcycle helmet so who I automatically think is cool—held the door open for me when I got here. That was sweet, and made me feel good, before what just categorized itself in my brain as "the ordering fiasco". Man it wasn't that bad.

Life is simpler in the woods.

It's the We—Thursday after my first shift. Wednesday went by too fast. When I turned the music on after getting in my car off-shift, it sounded like I was hearing the lyrics of the song for the first time. I guess I usually tune out some of the lyrics, or there's just not enough room in my brain to process them. It went back to normal pretty quickly though.

My week in-field was awesome. The first two days were really long and I was tired and unable to connect with the kids, but we started taking intentional breaks (personal time) on the third day and that was a game changer. These kids have big emotions, but the emotions aren't wrong. The emotions are what keep them alive. They're the silliest, goofiest, intelligent, creative kids that I've gotten to spend time with. So different from what I call the "STEM nerds" at UCSD. (To be fair there are also some really really cool, interesting, creative, STEM nerds at UCSD. And I've also heard every one of them self-reference as mentally ill.) But back to the general population of STEM nerd, my distaste for them comes from their robotic, depression inducing existence. Let me clarify. These are the people spending painstaking hours studying and working for classes that they don't care about, have no personal interest in, but need to ace. They do this usually in exchange for having any time or energy for personal interests and sometimes even personal hygiene/self care, let alone self love. This makes them a drag to be with because all they do is complain about how exhausted they are and how much school sucks. Well I'm taking an awesome science fiction class (that has nothing to do with my major) where I'm learning so many cool things I'd love to talk about, but you'd turn that into a pity party about how school is such a drag for you.

And I'm not blaming anyone for lacking self love, but I don't think that trying to squeeze yourself into a mold you don't fit for the sake of other people's expectations is the path to loving yourself. If you're constantly complaining about a certain thing, that's a sign to ~do something about it~ (this goes for significant others as much as situations). And [take the rest of this paragraph as my evolving, grain-of-salt opinion] I think where the depressed/suicidal think "if I can't be loved as myself, I don't want to be here", the productive robots of society think "if I can't be loved as myself, I'll be whatever you will love". The thing that both of these populations share is pain, and we all need to learn acceptance and love. The "actively" ill need better coping and regulation skills, so those big emotions don't take control; the "passively" ill need better coping and regulation skills, so they can express themselves authentically and experience joy. Idk, just some introductory thoughts, definitely a little too binary for my liking. Essentially, I'm making connections because we automatically see the mentally ill population as "other", but I think if we don't start seeing "them" as "us", it's going to get really ugly.

Writing helps. Editing helps. Probably taking a second to drink water and breath after a bike ride helps.

28 july 2022

climbing and coffee shops

Went to the climbing gym in Minneapolis today. Biked here. As an aside, that was actually my first time using a bicycle as transportation since middle school. I stopped biking after breaking my wrist one day. And then I got a car. Anyway, obviously everyone at the gym is nice. But I'm realizing that nice doesn't start a conversation or make a connection. That focus made me realize my motivation for climbing was to make friends. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but I'm trying to get rid of as much "means to an end" type activities/thinking in my life as I can. I'm either doing something because I want to be in that moment, or I'm going to find a way to no longer do that thing. A process of simplification. Untying some knots. If my time at the gym is purely meditative; a time to connect with myself, the body, and work through frustration and accomplishment and perserverence and all of that stuff, then that's enough. I climb to climb. It felt good to be able to do all the V0-V1's. The V1-V2's were more challenging but I think if I wasn't tired and had some calluses, I could do them.

There was one Indian guy there, which I didn't expect. I didn't really have anything to say to him and he seemed older, but for some reason it felt kind of awkward. I wasn't being super inviting, I never made eye contact, and for some reason I felt bad about that, even though I didn't do those things with anyone else either. If he wanted to talk to me, he should've said something. I only felt like an obligation went unfulfilled because he was Indian too.

Indian seems to be the theme today. There's a young Indian guy sitting in this coffee shop with me, and my attention seems to be pointed that way. He's cute, he's coding, he got the same drink as me. We probably don't have that much in common, other than being young and Indian. He's got the puja bracelet on... Anyway, sometimes I think about how it would have affected me if I saw an Indian girl with tats and cool hair when I was young. I think it would've been awesome. Maybe made me feel a little less alone? Sometimes I think I'm copping out of actually having a positive impact through actual effort/dedication. Well, what if it's not that hard? What if the only real way to help make things better is to float on this river, and not try to beaver dam the hell out of it. Unless of course, you're a beaver.

It makes sense that my attention flows to Indian people. That's my in-group. My brain is probably worried about how "we" look. If "we're" being acceptable. Whether I need to be less Indian in this situation, or in other words, how hard do I need to codeswitch? Also, I think codeswitching is a natural human behaviour, and it becomes a social phenomenon through the lens of race. For example, my dad behaves very differently with my grandpa than he does with me. I think that's a type of codeswitching. I behave differently with coworkers than I do with my best friend.

17 july 2022

hello there

Halvah candy topping brownie marshmallow. Wafer lollipop I love I love pudding candy canes I love I love. Tootsie roll lemon drops apple pie chocolate cake cotton candy. Brownie I love soufflé oat cake jujubes apple pie cake. Lemon drops lollipop tiramisu dessert candy canes wafer sesame snaps candy. Topping I love topping wafer. Chupa chups gummies powder. Chocolate croissant bonbon topping bear claw. Croissant bonbon gummi bears chocolate bar jelly-o jelly beans. Chocolate tart bonbon liquorice I love oat cake. Cookie I love chupa chups topping topping. Powder powder chupa chups I love icing. Candy canes halvah fruitcake pudding pudding. Cheesecake sugar plum biscuit oat cake sesame snaps jelly beans.

00 month year